| Its kind of funny to me right now, I’m sitting here in my room at 3:30 am, just thinking. One thing I have most definitely realized is just how much our teachers were right, the group didn't stay together. Most if not all of us have found new friends, and unlike before these group would not mix. The main group has stayed together but it seems for many of us, excluding many examples, our bonds are now held together by children’s white glue instead of the cement of sophomore year and earlier. I will speak for myself now that my bond with José is still cement and my bond with Alicia started weak but is growing strong but the rest have either stayed the same or faded greatly. I mean between Tiff moving and finding her new younger crowd, Kristin moving in with Steve and being adopted by his friends, Jose' forming new bonds with his co-workers through the power of banning against evil management, Tyler...well I don't know what the hell Tyler is ever doing, all I know is he better be using protection, Rosie cutting old ties and forming strong new ones in Iowa, Tarryl having DePaul adventures and surprises, Alicia finding forever comfort in Jason and co., and finally me forming the strongest bond of my life with Aaron and my buddies down at the lake, it just seems like it was always doomed to be like this as we reach to further advance our lives, or to fit the life of the one we have chosen for life.
I donno why I am writing this really I guess I’m more just killing time waiting for the phone to ring. But I'm listening to this new song I got that Alicia showed me on out awesome "two girl, one hours notice" road trip to the lake, its called the last night by skillet. It speaks more of love not friendship but I was thinking if we had believed out teachers all those years ago what would we of said to each other, would we of turned to each other and bid some early farewells? I can say I miss the good old times of Jose' and Kristin making up sugar charged word babble then laughing till they ran out of air and had to gasp for breath but I cant say I would go back to the way everything was, if it meant having to give up almost any of what I have now. Sure my life is more complicated and a hell of a lot more expensive but its so different and interesting I rarely feel bored. It’s like all the things we hoped for back in high school were almost to an extent "wrong". We all had dreams, and 90% of us have abandoned those dreams and adopted new ones in hope that these new plans may at last be final. I’ve given up on the insane idea of being in business or nursing and gone for was everyone has been telling me to do from the beginning, I’m going into pre-veterinary, I hope I survive the math.... and college for that matter. I donno why I wrote this, maybe it's because my beardie lunis died today, death always makes me think of my gains and losses. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling so restless sitting around here, I guess Rosie and I have something in common after all. My nose is only aggravating the situation. ill be at work and I can smell Aaron on my hair, and I long to be away form work and somewhere quiet wrapped up with him or just yesterday when I was yanking everything out of my bag from MO I could small the lake on my stuff and I feel like I wanna road trip to somewhere where I can have fun without string attached. I can understand why everyone is getting so restless. I mean José wants to go home, see his family, and hug his grandmother, Rosie wants to be with her friends in Iowa, I wanna go jump in the lake with Aaron, and ride on the weave runner with Joe, or go north and have Aaron shoot me a good deer for me to cook up. And I would bet money that tiff doesn’t want to get away so much as for her to find someone older who she feels can support her in any and every way. We all need to do something in winter, I plan on having a ski trip, anyone is welcome, and I hope we can see each other a little more like we did back in early high school and workout some of our tired bones. Once again I have no clue why I wrote this, or why even I went on for horribly long, but... I like it that I did it. Hopefully I'll write again soon but until then my phone is buzzing around on my computer desk. (One of the good parts of hanging with some new people, there are other people out there who also think 4:00 am is a lovely time for a chat, lol.) |
